ugh

dear diary (and readers)

i have to get something off my chest.

i love my family with my whooooole heart. I love derek's family with my whole heart. and they're our best friends. however, a new pet peeve keeps returning, so i need to vent. sorry.

lesson of life #1: do not go to someone's house and say "wow you should really clean up".

this is rude. I work over 40 hours every week, and try to have a social life as well as have some "me" time. My house is not perfectly clean all the time, but i wouldn't label it as "messy" by any means. The person who says this should try living on his/her own, working full time, and doing the "wifey balancing act". then keep a clean house constantly.

lesson of life #2: mind your own beeswax. If i want to talk to my husband, and call him a "jerk" or something, don't but in and tell me i'm so rude and it bothers you when i say things like that. Believe it or not, but we TALK about things, and make sure we don't hurt each other's feelings. where are people to stand up for ME when he hurts my feelings? no where. you know why? people need to mind their own business.

basically, i just wish i got the same love and respect back that i give to people. i have become an expert in learning to bite my tongue. i just wish certain people would learn to do the same.

thanks for letting me vent. i'll try to be my usual cheery self next time. :)

xoxox

picture time

since i usually blog at work (dont tell) i never have pictures to upload so i am going to overwhelm you of pictures of our little lives. most of these are going to be on facebook already, but i like this blogging phenomenon so someday i can print all this out and have a "lazy girl scrapbook". love it

... just kidding....

derek's "organizing" our pictures on the actual computer upstairs - and i clearly rely on him for all my electronic needs, it'll have to wait until he moves the pics back to the lappy.

sorry charlie.

let me just finish by saying i love my family. we are so lucky to have kenyon (derek's cousin) living in our basement. we are best friends with our families.

i'm over my job. it doesn't pay me NEAR enough for what i do. i'd LOVE to work at a beauty school of sorts doing financial aid - so keep your eyes and ears open for me would'ya?

peace & blessins. peace & blessins.

Fathers Day 2010

Yesterday was Fathers Day.

I've always had a weird feeling regarding this day - but this year was especially hard. My whole family was in Hawaii, I've been completely exhausted (taking care of their house, and Uncle Ben), and I didn't have any Father's to talk to on this day.

My relationship with my dad has improved x 10,000,000 in the past 3 years or so. He is my "go to" guy on most topics - and mostly relationship. Turns out it helps to have a marraige counselor as a dad. He's one of the most accepting and loving people I know. I'm so blessed to have him in my life, and to have the blessing of calling him "dad". He doesn't have to be. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to be. But he's still there for me. Giving me good advice and a hug when i need it. I wish i could just call him up and tell him how much he means to me, but I'm shy i guess....

I had a brief time period in October 2009 where I - for the first time in my life- had some contact with my biological "father" Jeff. This experience has really been an eye opening one for me. Jeff basically told me he is content in his life. He doesn't want to know me regardless if I am his child. He's happy in his life & doesn't want me in it.

I always expected this response from him - and I'm honestly okay with it. It's the closure I needed. It just really is eye opening to me that the man who technically SHOULD be in my life and care about me does not. And the man who doesn't really owe me anything is there for me. And cares for me. And loves me. I'm so thankful for my Dad.

ANY MAN CAN BE A FATHER

BUT IT TAKES SOME ONE SPECIAL

TO BE A DAD.

I miss Nonno. Fathers Day to me always meant "call Nonno" but i can't anymore. It's still as hard as ever. Monica (my aunt) made a beautiful tribute to my Nonno with tons of pictures of him with us. I was in almost every single one.

Staying with him before he died was honestly the best experience of my life. He straightened me out. I grew up a lot being there with him. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to tell him how thankful I am to him. How much of an impact he had on my life. We would stay up until 4 am sometimes talking about my goals, what hurt me, what made me happy. He genuinley cared for me. He loved me. I knew that. He was my rock. My best friend. I miss him so much.

This is the first Father's Day we've had without Pappa around. I sure miss him. He was also a genuine loving person. I fell in love with this man when i realized his true sincerity. He missed Derek when he couldn't come to family gatherings. He had the best hugs. The greatest eyes. Miss you Pappa.

Luckily - Derek has a big warm loving family - so the day wasn't empty. We were able to go up and spend the day with his Dad Shawn, his Grandpa Roy, Corinne's dad Jack, and Uncle's Rock & Micah.

We are blessed. I have been so fortunate to have the best of the best men in my life. I miss Nonno & Pappa terribly, and my life will never be the same now that they're gone - but I have some amazing people in my life.

Happy Fathers Day! xoxox

blog envy

welcome welcome - one & all.
i've had "blog envy" for quite some time now. everyone seems to have a blog full of fun facts - yet my sweet little family has none. so here we are.
things you might/might not care about:
Derek & I have been married for almost 2 years (but i love to emphasize the fact we've been together 4.5 years)
we're happy. we laugh a LOT
our boxer baby Millie is perfect
she & i have the same hair color
our home is beautiful. its perfect for US
we like the outdoors but dont camp very often
we're obsessed with Dexter, How I Met Your Mother, & Glee
i rarely use "uppercase letters"
derek judges me for that
we work hard so we can play hard
together we know how to cook about 6 meals
we have the greatest family in the WORLD
he lets me buy high heels so i'll be tall like him
i dont like concerts. derek loves concerts
peach iced tea is a staple in our house
millie loves it when i sing songs about her

so that's all folks. i'll be sure to post pictures soon of our little lives.
later gator